Salut Chanel

Zara coat (similar)
Zara sweater (similar)
Sezane blouse
Sezane skirt
Mango boots
Chanel handbag
Celine sunglasses
Linjer ring (c/o) (similar)
Modu Atelier earrings (c/o) (similar)
Location: The Ambassador Apartments – Winnipeg, Manitoba

Let me introduce you to my dream handbag: a Chanel small classic double flap in black leather with 24 carat gold hardware, circa the early nineties.

It’s true: this isn’t my first Chanel handbag. I stumbled upon that one, a black patent extra mini, quite at random in 2015, and bought it almost before I realised what I’d done. And then, in 2019, on the recommendation of my dear friend Anastasia, wandered into a secondhand store in Le Marais… from which I walked out ten minutes later, the owner of a vintage jumbo quilted Chanel bag at a price that, quite frankly, still seems unbelievable. I’ve loved both. My extra mini is totally impractical in almost all situations, but served me very well in London last November. My jumbo, on the other hand, is a true everyday bag, and that’s how I carry it, frequently stuffing everything I could possibly need into it before leaving home – including the book I’m reading.

So why didn’t I feel like my handbag dreams had already come true, when I owned two Chanel bags? It’s simple, really: both had silver hardware. Silver is a classic metal in its own way. It’s perfect for casual, everyday wear. I love it with jeans and sneakers. Or against an elegant black coat. But I am, and always will be, a gold girl at heart. My jewelry is almost exclusively gold toned. I loved the yellow hued metal long before it was fashionable, borrowing vintage pieces from my mom’s jewelry box in the early 2000s when my friends were getting silver studs pierced into their bellybuttons. My style was my own from a very young age, which is to say that in my teens and twenties, it was perceived by outsiders as anything from eccentric to a bit awful. I didn’t mind. I always knew what I liked.

…and what I liked, more than anything, always, was the Chanel classic bag. But for years, it was so far out of my price range as to seem completely unattainable. When I turned thirty, I nearly bought myself a wallet on chain at the Vancouver Chanel boutique, but balked at the price point in the end (which, looking back now, seems decidedly reasonable compared to where it sits these days.) By then, it was much less that I couldn’t afford it and much more that I could imagine spending so much money on a single thing that wasn’t inherently practical, particularly because styles change and my love of a single bag could, therefore, change as well.

It never has, mind you. Not for a second. I got lucky with my first Chanel bag, and luckier with my second. For a few years, it seemed like that might be the way for me; that the bags that were meant to be mine would cross my path at the right time, but this purchase wouldn’t ever be one that I could truly plan. That wouldn’t be such a terrible thing, really, but it did represent a risk. My dream bag might find its way to me someday… but it was equally possible that it never would.

And then came 2022. What a year, truly, although it started off much like the two that came before it. My temporary job – the one that, as recently as 2017, I thought I might get by retirement, if I worked hard and got lucky – became permanent, thirty years ahead of my imagined (and admittedly pretty unambitious) schedule. For that alone, I felt, I deserved to reward myself. After all, I put years of hard work into getting to this point. But because I’m me, that wasn’t enough, so I also dedicated myself, particularly in the second half of the year, to profound self-improvement and healing. It wasn’t easy. None of it. But I did it, so it made sense to commemorate those efforts with a truly special addition to my wardrobe.

Enter my Chanel small classic double flap bag. I debated, for months, about whether to buy a new bag that would be entirely my own, or find the perfect vintage version. Ultimately, I went vintage: partly because the quality of Chanel bags was so much better in my childhood than it is now (although the new ones remain exquisite) but also partly because, as ever, the right bag crossed my path at exactly the right moment. LXR Co came through with a perfect specimen, which at once looks like it lived before it came home to me and somehow, simultaneously, is in immaculate condition. It really is perfect. And was absolutely worth waiting for all these years.

Everyone dreams of different things. To some, I know, this purchase might seem frivolous; the idea of spending so much money on just one thing, especially a purse, could be incomprehensible. But to me, it makes sense. In fact, I can think of almost nothing that gives me more pleasure. When the LXR Co cardboard box arrived at my door, I dropped what I was doing to open it. The bag inside proved, as I’d expected it would, to be the most breathtaking thing I’d ever bought. It was a privilege, one that I don’t take for granted, to be able to do that; to make this dream come true for myself. And because of that, I’ll treasure not just the bag, but the memory of how and why it came to be mine, forever.

All of that to say: life is short, my friends. If you love something, whatever it is, go after it. Never let anyone tell you that pursuit isn’t worthwhile. You deserve whatever happiness looks like for you.

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