Pause

Oak + Fort tank (c/o) (similar)
Zara jeans (similar)
Dune London mules
Vintage Birks bag (similar)
Mango sunglasses
Vintage necklace (similar)
Linjer rings (c/o) (similar)
Daisy London earrings (c/o)
Location: St. Luke’s Church – Winnipeg, Manitoba

It seems like just yesterday that we got an early morning flight to Chicago. In reality, it’s been nearly two years since that February morning in 2020. At the time, it was just another trip – I’d been to Toronto twice already that year, and expected to fly to Edmonton shortly after we got back. The trip to Edmonton never happened. Life, as we knew it, was put on pause. I haven’t set foot in an airport since we got back from Chicago.

Two months before that trip, one dark December night, Ian told me about a new pneumonia that had surfaced in China. I’d already heard about it, and brushed it off as nothing of particular concern. I’ll always remember that night, because of the events that unfolded after it. I remember the way I sat up in bed, absently scrolling my phone while he talked, completely unconcerned. The memory of that night would be vague and distant now, were it not for that fact that the pneumonia, seemingly innocuous at the time, someone else’s problem, upended life as we knew it, making our visit to Chicago early the next year, unexpectedly, our last holiday for a very long time.

Life as we knew it is still just a memory. We wear masks everywhere we go. Spending time with people I know and love indoors, without them on, still makes me nervous, even though we’re all vaccinated. But this Wednesday, after twenty months, we’ll be walking through the doors of an airport for the first time.

I’ve waited for this day since we got home from Chicago last year, sometimes counting down to it, sometimes lamenting that it might never come. But I made a bargain with myself at the start of this year; if I got the vaccine, I promised myself, I would trust it to work. I would find ways to enjoy life again, even if they scared me, even if they came with risk, because giving in to fear is entirely too easy, and it’s not really living. It’s time to make good on that bargain. And because I do nothing halfway, I chose an international destination – the only destination, in many ways, that would truly make me feel the risk was worth it. Paris.

Two days before departure, I am a bundle of nerves and excitement. Everything could still somehow change or fall apart. But what if it doesn’t? What if we just go through airport security and get on the plane like we always did? What if we land in Paris and it’s the same wonderful place that we remember and for twelve days, we get to live the joyful life we’ve been missing for almost two years? If that’s how this turns out, I want to soak in every minute and truly live it.

In order to do that, I need to be able to disconnect. Which means, for the first time in a decade, I’m putting Coco & Vera on pause. There will be no pre-scheduled posts that go live while I’m away. Twitter and Facebook will be silent. I’ll continue posting on Instagram, of course, mainly stories, because I won’t be able to resist. But I will be taking a much needed break while we’re away. No work phone. No Hootsuite scheduler. The idea isn’t just to live again – it’s also to recharge after an absolutely exhausting two years. And you can’t recharge when you’re still plugged in.

So, from now until October 21, 2021, I will be out of office. I hope this pause proves to be everything I want it to be, but either way, I’ll tell you all about it when I get back. In the meantime, take care of yourselves – I hope that you all have the privilege of taking a pause when you need one, too. Much love.

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