This is not about us

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Location: Winnipeg Art Gallery – Winnipeg, Manitoba

(I want to start this by saying that I don’t know who needs to read this – but the fact is, I do. I see you, and I know there is a world full of people just like you. This is for all of you.)

On May 25, 2020, Minneapolis police killed George Floyd, who was suspected of nothing more than passing a counterfeit twenty dollar bill. (Important note: He was only suspected, not guilty.) This was just one among a litany of examples of egregious violence committed by a police office against a black person, but for some reason, George Floyd made the world pay attention in a way they did not pay attention when police killed Breonna Taylor, a twenty-six-year-old EMT, in her home. (Another important note: Those police were executing a search warrant on the wrong home for a suspect who was already in custody.) In a way they did not pay attention every other time a black or indigenous person succumbed to police misconduct.

The list of accomplished, valued human beings who have lost their lives to police abusing their authority to commit violence is lengthy and not, by any means, limited to the United States. I encourage my Canadian friends to consult Pyriscence for more information about Canadian BIPOC killed by police.

Suddenly, the whole world woke up and realised that black lives matter. This is, in many respects, progress, a fact that I will not discount. But the reality is, black lives always mattered, just like indigenous lives always mattered, and we have failed, as a collective, to act as though that is the case for the past four hundred years. Now, we’re upset. We’re outraged. Finally, we’re heartbroken and we want to talk about that.

The conversation about how we feel isn’t the conversation we should be having right now because this is not about us.

I know what you might want to say. “Of course this is about us! It’s about all of us! We’re all human!”

Yes, we are all human. And human rights for all are, indeed, a human issue. But as white people, our innate privilege means that we are the humans that people see and hear all the time. We are on the news and in movies and in magazines. Everywhere BIPOC turn, we are what they see. Our opinions are the opinions they hear. We dominate every conversation, no matter the subject. That isn’t equality. And if equality is truly the goal, we won’t make any headway towards it if we centre our conversations about the black lives matter movement around how we feel about it. We will not move forward together if we continue to trample on everyone else.

Even if, as a white person, you can intellectually acknowledge that this is not about us, it’s hard to wrap your mind around shifting the conversation. I know that. It will take time. There will be moments of discomfort. White privilege is so engrained that many of us don’t recognise the myriad ways in which our skin colour makes our path through life easier. There is always space for us – for our needs, our desires, and our emotions. And when there isn’t space, we feel comfortable demanding it, because we can do that without consequences.

I’ve seen people make those demands time and time again in the past week. People I consider friends taking up space, insisting people of colour validate their heartbreak and anguish. That is not only unneccessary, it’s unfair, because no one is feeling more heartbreak or anguish than BIPOC are in this moment. Requiring them to put your needs ahead of their own places an emotional burden on them, and they are already carrying a heavier load than we are. It may not be visible, but it’s there, and they carry it every single day.

Let me be clear: white privilege doesn’t mean your life isn’t hard. It means your skin colour doesn’t make it harder.

Of course its acceptable to feel saddened by the senseless death of countless people at the hands of police, both in Canada and the United States. None of this means that your feelings are not valid or worthy. The sadness you’re experiencing is a natural reaction to tragedy, and it means your heart is in the right place. But you have a choice: you can use your anguish to affect change, or you can continue to be part of the problem by demanding acknowledgement from people who are far more deeply affected by these tragedies than you are.

This is not about us. It is our not our lives that the police threaten. Our forefathers established the system we live in to protect us and it does exactly that. It protects us at the expense of everyone else. Speaking up is a step in the right direction, but it only works if you are speaking up to amplify the voices of marginalized people who are demanding rightful equality. And it only works if you’re consistent. If you can put your privilege aside this week, then you can put it aside next week, too. You can put it aside every week after that. You can recognise that we will need to continue to do real work to dismantle the system because nothing that was built over centuries can be broken down in a day.

Real work is not voicing your personal outrage. It is not posting a black square on social media. It’s making donations when you can afford to. It’s repeatedly telling your uncle that his racist jokes make everyone uncomfortable, but not stopping the conversation there – it’s also asking him why he feels entitled to make those kind of jokes, and why he believes in a system that enables him to do that. Sometimes, it is being proactive, by doing things like advocating for fair hiring practises at your place of work. At the heart of the matter, it is acknowledging that the system is wrong, digging deep to find out why we continue to enable its existence and contributing to taking it apart so we can build one that supports true equality.

You will get it wrong. Sometimes, you will feel deeply uncomfortable. And even when you get it right, you will hear you’re not doing enough. But you can’t let that stop you. There is no easy way out of this, and no quick fix for it. You will still need to show up with an open heart and a willingness to allow new information to change your opinions. When you do, you need to remember, first and foremost, that this is not about us. It’s not about you.

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