Having a Time

Oak + Fort top (c/o) (similar)
Oak + Fort trousers (c/o) (similar)
Linjer rings (c/o)
Aurate NY ring (c/o)
Mejuri earrings (c/o) (similar)
Location: Osborne Village – Winnipeg, Manitoba

“You seem to be having a time.”

I can’t remember if those were the exact words, but they’re close enough. Someone I knew a long time ago recently used them to describe their perception of my life, based entirely on the content of my Instagram stories. The veil over the implied judgement in their statement was so thin as to practically be invisible.

It’s been a decade since I very tentatively launched Coco & Vera. Fashion blogs were in their nascent stages back then, and most of us writing them were taking photos of our outfits in our living rooms. In those early days, all kind of people who “knew me” despite not having been actively present in my life for years felt the need – or perhaps the moral obligation – to come forward and tell me that taking photos of myself was a narcissistic pursuit. They were, I’m sure, just trying to help, in their own deeply misguided way.

I’m still here, so you can all gather just how much stock I put in unsolicited opinions and advice.

But at least, back in 2010, it wasn’t surprising to be on the receiving end of criticism. What we were doing as fashion bloggers was new, and people fear what is unfamiliar. It’s 2020 now. The cult of the influencer reached its peak a year ago, maybe even two. Writing a fashion blog, most of the world knows, is much more than just “taking pictures of yourself.” Those of us behind these screens became, if briefly, a cultural phenomenon. While I’ve hardly been successful enough to be among the women who defined the influencer era, I’ve certainly been part of it.

And yet, to my surprise, despite all of the newspaper articles covering the evolution of fashion blogging, of instagram as a platform for business, there are people in the world who remain totally unaware of, well, all of it. Who think that because I post stories at a certain frequency and am honest, even sometimes vulnerable in them, I am just a sad girl with too much time on her hands. That I’m “having a time” and need to be saved from myself.

We’ve been in quarantine for six weeks, with no real end in sight. Some days, I change from my night pajamas to my day pajamas and spend ten hours in front of my work computer. Other days, I do my hair, put on make-up and dance in my living room. I am always taking photos and writing about it, because that’s who I am – a storyteller, an experience documenter. Every experience isn’t picture perfect but I don’t shy away from sharing the ones that aren’t. Because people who are quick to criticize or make assumptions are, luckily, rare. But people sitting quietly at home, watching, reassured that they aren’t alone in what they’re living through, are common.

“We’ve got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”
– D. H. Lawrence

So yes, I’m having a time – it’s called life. And I’m living it on my own terms, for which I refuse to apologise or offer explanation.

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