Title Tribulations

Uniqlo coat (similar)
Mavi jeans (c/o)
Aldo boots
ASOS scarf
Chanel handbag
Rayban sunglasses
Keltie Leanne Designs ring (c/o) (similar)
Linjer rings (c/o) (similar)
Linjer earrings (c/o) (similar)
Location: Osborne Village – Winnipeg, Manitoba

True story: I can rattle off a five hundred word blog post in about five minutes. But that’s only after I figure out a title. And I just spent thirty minutes staring at my computer screen, wracking my brain to come up with a title that accurately captures the essence of what I plan to say today. Title Tribulations isn’t exactly what I was hoping for, but it turns out that it’s the best that I can do.

Titles have always presented more of a challenge for me than stories themselves. Although I’ve certainly struggled pretty much every step of the way in writing both of my books, the part of the work that’s always taken me the longest is settling on a title I’m really satisfied with. And if I’m honest – I’m still not sure about either of those titles. I always manage to convince myself that I could come up with something cleverer or more memorable with just a bit more time… but that time goes by, and I never really do.

The truth is, the title of this blog post is way down the list of things that I feel like I’m failing to do well lately. There is no objective evidence to show that I’m failing at anything. But that’s how it feels, partly because I really do have too much to do and too little time to do it in, but it’s also partly because I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to do all the things while being all the people that everyone around me needs me to be so that they can feel good. I am particularly guilty of this in my work life, where I have ten staff members reporting to me, all of whose needs I put way ahead of my own. Every. Single. Day.

The feeling of failure really comes on strong because I am doing all the right things – I exercise diligently. I get enough sleep, too, and I eat healthy meals every day during the work week at least. (We meal prep. I learned quickly when I moved to working from home that if we don’t, I simply don’t eat.) Even when I am sacrificing myself, I am always doing what I can to compensate for that. And it isn’t enough. None of it is. Sometimes hard work and diligence just aren’t enough, no matter what anyone tells you. Sometimes, you just can’t have it all, and that is a reality that, at thirty-four, I am struggling to accept more than ever.

Somehow, that feeling turned into a title problem today. Although the rationale part of me understands that this title doesn’t matter, the rest of me is still stubbornly convinced that I could do better if I just had a bit more time or energy. If you need me, I’ll just be over here trying to redefine my idea of what success looks like and wrap my mind around the idea that sometimes good enough really is good enough.

Shop the Post