The Cut

Hair by Fran Rizzutto

It was the July long weekend when I texted my hair stylist, Fran, in mock desperation: “All the cool girls on instagram have bobs, and I want one, too!” The fact is, I’ve been contemplating this dramatic cut since some time in 2016. My Vancouver stylish wouldn’t even broach the subject. She loved my long hair and hated so much as trimming it. Which was fine for her, since she saw me once every couple of months. I had to live with those mermaid locks day in and day out and let me tell you, they required work.

But no matter how much having super long hair drove me crazy… no matter how many bad hair days I had… I was wary of cutting it, too. Long hair can always be pulled back. Good hair days can be faked for the sake of photos. With short hair, you can’t fake it. And since I am notoriously lazy when it comes to haircare, I worried about how I would look on all the days when I don’t feel like styling my hair. Because that is how I feel most days.

On the July long weekend, I was feeling impulsive. Work was stressful and I needed the three-day break. But just staying home for three days didn’t feel like enough – I needed a real change. Somehow, it seemed clear that the change needed to come in the form of the haircut I’d been putting off for two years.

I panicked, the night before my appointment. I’ve always raised an eyebrow at people who get attached to their long hair, but there I was at three am, wide awake, wondering what the hell I was thinking. Cut it all off? I must be crazy. Things seemed clearer in the light of day, as they always do. I went to the salon to meet Fran. She washed my hair and we chatted; when she actually started to cut, I didn’t quite notice at first, until I spied the large chunks of discarded wet hair on the floor. By then, the chop was nearly half over. It happened so quickly, I couldn’t have changed my mind if I wanted to…

…but the fact is, when it was over, I didn’t want to. In fact, I wondered why on earth I’d waited so long. The thing about hair is that is grows, of course. And mine grows quickly. Almost every time I’ve chopped my hair up to this one, I’ve spent the next four weeks waiting for it to grow back. And then it has, and I’ve moved on. But this time, I wish it would go slower. Somehow, when I looked in the mirror after all I was said and done, I felt like the person looking back was who I was supposed to be all along. Nothing that momentous has ever happened to me in a hair salon before. But there’s a first time for everything. This is the first time in my life I’ve committed to short hair. But it’s time – and I love it.