Me Too

Uniqlo sweater
Privacy Please dress (c/o)
Steve Madden sandals
APC bag
Anine Bing sunglasses
The Peachbox bracelet (c/o)
Olive + Piper ring (c/o)
CC Lifestyles earrings (c/o)

Me too.

Of course me too. Statistically, one in four women can say that. But as Mark Twain famously quipped, “There are three kinds of lies; lies, damn lies, and statistics.” I would be willing to bet it’s more like three in four women. Maybe even all women.

Me too.

But I’m not going to talk about the hows and the whens. Survivors do not owe the world their stories and mine are no different from the hundreds of others I have read this week. Over the years, I have rationalised so much of what has happened to me as “not that bad.” When I lay all the incidents end to end, though, the litany of allegedly minor harassments is appalling. The thing is, none of it is news. It happens every day and we are all aware of it. This shouldn’t have to be about asking, yet again, to be believed. It should be about asking the perpetrators how they will change.

Me too.

The part that really bothers me is not so much the overt harassment as the passive blame placed on women for their womanhood. I want to shout at every teacher who told me, “He’s just doing it because he likes you.” Because my body is not a distraction. I want to scream at the fashion designer who asked, “What are we asking? Are we asking for it by presenting all the sensuality and all the sexuality?” Because she makes clothes for all of us, only to tell us that wearing them is the equivalent of asking for it.

Me too.

And all I am asking for, in reality, is one day wherein I am not exasperated to the point of shouting by a male person who feels, somehow, that it is of primary importance that he be heard in a discussion about women’s rights. Particularly when this person suggests that the internet has destroyed true debate; that any intelligent argument on this subject that cannot be condensed into 140 characters or less will simply be ignored. That women are human beings with an inalienable right to safety is not debatable. This is not a discussion, these are facts. And neither facts nor rights are like pie. You do not get less because you give some to others who deserve them.

Me too.

Because I was raised to believe that my value as a human being is based on my hard work, my knowledge, and my ideas. But because of my gender, society values my sexuality above all else. The greatest disappointment of my life came when I realised that what I look like when I walk into a room matters far more to most people than what I do while I am there. And I am so unbearably tired of being disappointed.