LPA dress (c/o REVOLVE)
Steve Madden sandals
Sezane bag (similar)
Anine Bing sunglasses
Keltie Leanne Designs ring (c/o)
Since Friday, I’ve had so many comments and emails that start with the same question: You’re not going to Paris next year?! After all of these years of Paris photos, I realise that statement is shocking. And to be fair, I may change my mind. This isn’t the first time I have considered that it might be time to discover somewhere new. But it is the first time I’ve done so publicly.
It broke my heart to leave Paris in 2013. I’m sure many of you remember that. We had been here for a year. Finally, it seemed, had really managed to settle in. We rented an apartment that we loved (despite it’s flaws, which were numerous.) We made friends who we spent time with, discovered restaurants we went back to, frequented neighbourhood parks – we lived a Parisian life. And even though we knew it would end, the ending felt abrupt. I wasn’t ready to go back to Canada, no matter what my visa and plane ticket dictated. I hadn’t finished being Parisian yet. The mandatory return date felt arbitrary, even cruel.
In the years since, we have come back every year, chasing after the life we wanted to go on living. Paris feels like home, although changes every time we come back to it. Somehow, the small changes are almost part of the fun, because they lead to new discoveries. When we visit for a few weeks, we get to do all of the wonderful things we used to love – indulge in our favourite foods, drink too much wine, wander through Le Marais with no particular destination in mind – without dealing with any of the things that make life in Paris just like life, well, anywhere else. Because the truth is, while Paris will always be the most beautiful place in the world for me, even as it changes, it remains the same. And that means it is still home to the most infuriatingly officious bureaucracy I have ever dealt with, to dirty streets that ruin all of my favourite shoes no matter how careful I am and to a whole lot of men, from clothing store salesmen to beggars to strangers, who not only think my gender means I owe them something but are unapologetic about telling me so on a daily basis when I am just trying to get on with my life. I accept those flaws. I accept all the others, too, even though they are tiresome, knowing they are part of what makes Paris the place it is; the place that I adore.
But Paris is more the same than I am. I am not the person I was in 2013. And wouldn’t change the ways I’ve grown since our expat days. What I’ve realised (perhaps belatedly) is that no matter how many times I come back to Paris, I will never get to relive a version of 2013 where we get to stay here. I will never know what might have been. But I know what is, and it’s simple: I have been chasing after something I will never be able to reach for four years and I’m finally ready to let it go. You can never go home again. I understand that now.
Perfect outfit! The dress looks great and bag and sandals fit good to it :-*
Melanie / http://www.goldzeitblog.de
i looove the dress! and you look so pretty! great blog!
What an honest, beautifully written take on your experience. As someone who spent her entire 20s traveling and who has lived all over the U.S., from coast to coast, I can relate to a lot of what you said. It took me a long time to realize that a place will likely never have the same experience for me that I once had, and that, in most cases, places I love or spend an extended period of time visiting, often become, well, just like anywhere else. I think you will always be a little Parisien – it’s just who Cee is. And that won’t change because you take a break from your favorite city. xoxo
Great fitting dress Cee-
As much as you love Paris, I found your comment on seeing new places and not going there as a good idea – because at the end you can “always have Paris..”
I completely understand what you’re saying. I felt very similarly when I moved back to Canada from the Connecticut/New York area. I wasn’t anticipated that my stay there would end when it did and it just felt so abrupt. Even though I’d had six years there, I similarly felt that it just wasn’t enough – there were still things I wanted to do and things I wanted to do again. Which, of course, is why I travelled back a few times after that before I finally got to the point where I felt as though I was really, truly ready to let it go and move on. But it certainly did not come easily.
Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines
This dress is amaaaazing!!
Love this outfit and your looks great!!
Regards.
Walkindiscount.com
So beautiful Cee! I loved reading this. Maybe Paris is just not for you guys right now. That doesn’t mean its not for you in the future. Sometimes things come full circle. There may be some other places that are awaiting you before that happens. I believe everything happens for a reason. We may not understand WHY, but it’s for a good reason. Sometimes the answer comes later.
http://www.averysweetblog.com/
♥
This is such an important post. Chasing he life you want to live can be one of the best things ever, I think it’s all about taking a risk. Anyway, you look absolutely stunning, this outfit is gorgeous, and the location is wonderful! The photos are so pretty, what camera do you use?
Amy;
Little Moon Elephant
Forever in love with your classy style, such perfect fashion inspirtaion. I can imagine how hard leaving would have been atleast you were able to revisit. Its so nice to read that you’ve finally came to terms with never getting back that time but I think thats what makes these things even more special.
http://www.thewhimsicalwildling.com/
It makes all the sense in the world that you’re ready to explore new places Cee and I can’t wait to see where that takes you. Chasing what was… is so easy to get caught up in for sure, and you’re right, it will simply never be… because it’s in the past! And speaking of your travels? Loving your London snaps and ALL the Manolos. Was that pic just for me?! 😉 Haha, finally last but not least, OBSESSED with your dress, it looks stunning on you + I absolutely adore how you styled it too! xo
http://www.girlandcloset.com
It’s so true that when we make a place our home, we turn a blind eye to all of it’s shortcomings. I still have yet to visit Paris, and I hope I do someday. I want to see all the beautiful buildings, taste the amazing food, and marvel at how you traversed those streets in your heels.
Chic on the Cheap